Taking Tests For Romance

The ice cream test

The next time you meet someone you think is pretty special and you can see some compatibility between the two of you and your feelings are growing—you smile when you think of them. You think of them often and you have this urge to really get to know them—instead of over thinking it or over analyzing every thing they do I have a suggestion that can save a lot of time. It’s called the Ice Cream Test. 


Step one:  You call up your new interest and ask them out for a cone. If they are lactose intolerant don’t worry there are lots of places that serve ice cream substitutes. Dandys is a great option for a vegan cone.

Step two:  Meet there. Drive there. Walk there. Whatever, just make sure that they order a cone.  

Step three:  Step away from the counter and enjoy your ice cream together. Enjoy your initial satisfying four or five licks.

Step five: And when you are safely away from the counter and your new interest is distracted in the deliciousness of their ice cream give their cone holding hand a firm (but not too aggressive) bump. 

Yes. You read that right. They may get some ice cream on their chin, or up their nose. They will be okay. I promise. This is not an act of violence. However, what it is, is a TEST.  Their reaction to that moment signifies the tip of the iceberg for their response to practical jokes, to stressful situations, to a little bit of embarrassment. If they laugh, great! If they get you back with a laugh, awesome—food fight. They are up for a level playing field! If they focus on their shirt and how “this 100$ top is going to be ruined forever you asshole!” they may lean into materialism. If they get quiet and pouty—angry—plot revenge, cuss, cry— this reaction really narrows down who they are in a moment of potential playful embarrassment. If they are any of the negative reactions, pack your bags and head for the hills! Heck, don’t even pack your bags—just start walking!  And I do believe in the tip of the ice berg (or ice cream in this case). It really does give you a sense of who they are.

You don’t actually have to do it

I have found out that you don’t actually have to DO the Ice Cream Test. You really just have to talk about it. I’ve seen it happen with a friends. I explained the process and one pal couldn’t get her head around tapping someone’s ice cream while they were eating it. She’s just so gentle.  Another person was disgusted by the idea and found it 100% unacceptable.  Others burst out laughing at the potential scenario.  So the reaction to the idea is enough to understand a bit more about them.

I have to say that I have never done this test to anyone or had it done to me but there is a humor about it for me. I like laughing and I know that I don’t get bent about small things. 

Follow up tests

The road trip: Plan a road trip. Don’t use Google Maps.Go there. There is nothing like a long drive to see how much time you can spend together alone without wanting to lobotomize yourself with the nearest piece of cutlery. It’s challenging: radio and song choices, constant conversations, how they handle driving on the road and if you like their reckless or over cautious ways. Do they need too many bathroom breaks? And if you get lost! Well—that could be exciting. Also, a superb indication of how they handle stress. 

Travel: Not just to an all inclusive in Mexico, but travel, to a place where the main language is not one either of you speak. This is a challenge in which both of you have to negotiate stress and discomfort, changing your habits—sleeping, eating, spending time together—and how hard you push or pull to have your way or to prove you are right, or they do.  It’s a very interesting matter to be put in a travel scenario with your potential significant other.  

Now if you can execute the Ice Cream Test, the Road Trip Test and the Travel Test to a foreign country then you are made for each other! 

Live long and prosper!

These tests also apply to friendships.


Full credit goes to Shawn Hammett who originally told me about the Ice Cream Test years and years ago. He ran off the instructions as I listened and when he was done I quietly whispered the word Guru. I thought it was so clever. It stuck with me. I wonder if he’s ever put to practice any of these tests and what the results were?

I’m happy to report that Shawn currently has someone special in his life.

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