It’s Sunday night. I’m working on this blog post NOW. Yeah, I know. It’s late. By the time I post it it’s going to be roughly three days late. I said I’d do my best to post Friday or Saturday—but not this time.
Ideas: Not the issue. I had some ideas. I have an ongoing list so as to never run out of content. But, even with a rough draft sitting on my desk top from the week I didn’t have that “holy crap! I better get this done” feeling.
Writer’s block: No. I don’t believe in writer’s block. I didn’t have writer’s block. Like I said, I even had some rough drafts ready to go.
Pressing business: I didn’t have super pressing things to do that involved teaching or writing, or any other kind of business.
Social life: Some, but nothing excessive.
What’s busy good for any how?
I think motivation, laziness, desire and drive are all kind of the same and a wee bit different. Initially this post was about being lazy. But, that wasn’t the case. I didn’t have a lazy weekend. I had a selective weekend. I also think that where we put our energy helps create happiness and fun.
We tend to glorify busy which is not a good thing. Doing is important but balance is also important. However, I have had crazy busy times in my life which always fell next to quiet peace. And this weekend I just wasn’t having hectic. I was having moderation.
I’ve had periods where I was teaching full time, directing the school play after hours, working on a script with David and preparing for an art show all at once. That was an epic autumn. I’ve had weeks in my life that were hilariously crazy. In short flying home from Costa Rica, going to the hospital to doula for a friend having a baby, working all week, attending a Turkish banquet, socializing twice with an out of town friend, breaking up a fight and framing a house for Habitat for Humanity. That was a single epic week!
I know I like being busy—without glorification. I like the stimulation. I like getting things done and I find pleasure in a lot of tasks I put in front of me. It’s part of who I am. But I am very aware of how much pleasure the things I choose give me.
This weekend, although I knew that I had a blog to finish I just didn’t. I hit the pause button like the golden buzzer on AGT. No apologies. I went out Friday night right after work, drinking Sangria, eating nachos, laughing and talking. I stayed out until bed time. Saturday I woke up very early to have breakfast and a long walk with a dear 80 year old friend. I made supper and took it to my boyfriend’s after his shift at work. I hiked today. Gorgeous red, orange, yellow filled the contours of the valley where I hiked. The lake was reflective and still.
It was a good weekend. And I chose to Take. It. Easy. I didn’t feel really guilty about it either. I knew the post would get done. Everything’d be fine.
A very brilliant friend reflected on her life. She said she was spending so much time as a mom and wife trying to keep everything in her life organized, to reduce stress, but that also reduced the fun. Whoa. You guys in the back row, read that again. Somewhere in day to day living and in the list of have to’s we need to fit in the fun. It’s why we’re here to have a good life, not just to get shit done.
I had some fleeting feelings that I should be writing, and the autumn leaves will drop without me but I’d rather they drop with me, while I’m walking around appreciating them.
So, it all happened. I enjoyed a good weekend, this striking fall day and the post is done.
Have a gorgeous week.