Am I allowed to complain in this month of (Canadian) Thanksgiving?
I’m in full swing. Teaching Monday to Friday. Also, writing Monday to Friday with daily meetings and words on the page. I’ll add to that—keeping my home and my social life neat and tidy and a little busy. I was so proud of writing during the summer holidays but let’s be serious, I was only writing and hanging out, enjoying beaches, sunsets, and all that comes with the summer stuff. Talk about a pleasure-seeking existence. And to be honest, this is the existence I’m permanently looking for. I believe that if I stay focused I will have it. Someone said if we master the day to day we’ve mastered life.
Summer is over
My first week back at school I was spent. I’d need naps midday. I’d return home like a zombie, sitting on my couch staring at nothing waiting for a magical burst of energy to open my computer and get to the other job. Funny how fast I was able to relax into an easier life in July. But now I’m finding some challenges in keeping it all organized.
I have to sing praises to Counios and Gane’s system of meeting every morning as that is the motivation. At those meetings, I can tell David that I haven’t written once or twice but after the third time I start feeling like a slacker so, to avoid the guilt, I buck up and do my job. And let me tell you, in the morning when David asks how it went I’m so proud and relieved that I can tell him I moved a scene along or sorted a story issue.
The workflow will come as it always does and I’ll adjust to a new pace which I know I can handle. I guess it’s also about trusting myself that I’m able to do what needs to be done and knowing that I’m wise enough to dig my heels in or take a nap—whatever I need to keep on track to my hopeful not-so-long-term goal.
Finding balance in all the things I love and also the things I have to do (because the loves and the have-to’s are both necessary) is a challenge for sure, but with all challenges, I accept and do my best to keep it all going—of course taking the necessary time for me.
This evening was a great example of the usual semi-procrastination. I walked home from work, kicked off my boots, and prepped some food. I ate a little and did some dishes. I made a list for the grocery store, then I opened a book I do not love but I’m committed to finishing it. I read until it was too dark in the living room to keep reading. I sighed and put the book down and here I am on my laptop thinking about this blog and the posts sitting in the draft bin. I was roughly three weeks behind—again this is not terrible. But I am shifting back into it with the belief that one baby step is better than no steps at all. Once I am done writing this post I will put on my jacket and go to the store to get some foodstuff for tomorrow. It will be delicious. And, once that is done I will open the computer once again to work on Counios and Gane business. My cheering squad—which is my inside-of-my-head voice—keeps telling me I can do it. Watch me. I will.
Cutting me some slack
My expectations for myself are always a little more intense than they are for others. That’s okay. Success doesn’t come from being lazy. I’m good with that. So, this isn’t a blog of complaints. It’s an acknowledgment of gratitude. I am grateful for having a restful but productive summer. I am grateful for going to a job that allows me time to write. I am grateful for meeting with Dave every morning and the motivation this gives me. I am grateful for my cheering squad.
I am grateful.
As always, thank you for reading lovelies.