Show and Tell A Social Media Struggle

I hate show and tell so much that I’ve even stalled making a post about it for fear of resolving it and then having to show and tell! How messed is that? I’ve realized I have a massive resistance to posting on social media—especially TikTok, but really, any reel. It’s got me wondering: why am I resisting?

Let’s go back—again.

Rumor has it I was a pretty self-assured little kid. Then I got to school and was introduced to this thing called show and tell—where we’d bring something from home and talk about it. As an adult, I get it. It’s meant to help kids practice communication and verbal skills by linking them to an object. Smart and basic. Yet, I fucking hated it! I probably didn’t think, “I fucking hate this”—I was five—but I sure remember that visceral, gut-wrenching feeling.

I’ve wondered why that is

Thing #1: I didn’t speak English very well, so my little immigrant self was naturally self-conscious.

I was shy and navigated my new world deeply feeling my difference from the Canadian kids. These feelings transitions into insecurity. Questions filled my brain. Did I fit in? Did I look different? Was I saying or doing the right thing. Was I enough like the other kids in the class? Was I Canadian enough? My newcomer flower pot was well watered and fertilized by my concerns. That seed grew and grew over the years.

Thing #2: My parents and I were newcomers to Canada, arriving on tickets bought with borrowed money. We didn’t just have nothing—we were behind the proverbial 8-ball of nothing. Even as a kid, I might have sensed the lack at home. I probably considered that there wasn’t a lot to show and tell about.

Fast forward to now

I have a stack of successes. A long career in education. A lighthearted side gig as an artist, selling pieces from time to time. And a writing career I never imagined, with international awards, nominations, and consistent sales. I’ve built a beautiful home on my own, traveled extensively, and live a healthy, happy, and loved life. Good for me!

Yet when it comes time to talk about my books or my life on social media, I hesitate. Hard. Sometimes I outright freeze. I’ve posted a little, and I even keep a list of ideas to post more—but it’s hard. Emotionally? Energetically? Both.

Here’s the rub

There’s still a little work to do on me. I’ve done a lot—self-love, confidence, showing up authentically—but clearly, there’s still a bit of resistance lingering. I’m actually a little surprised that these feelings have come up. Am I annoyed with myself? Yeah, a little. But more than that, I’m grateful to finally see what’s going on. Now I know I can work on it.

So I’m going to do it. I’m going to be uncomfortable, but I won’t back down. I’m going to put myself out there—my author life and my books. Why? Because wouldn’t a proud mama post about her babies? Yeah—me too.

Truth

Mel Robbins says, “Your social media is not for your friends. Your social media is for you, and your dreams, and your self-expression, and it’s meant to put something out in the world intentionally so that people who are looking for you and who need you can find you. That is what social media is for. It is the way that you do total immersion into who you are becoming. And when you can get clear it’s not for your fucking ex-co-workers, it’s not for your relatives, it’s not for your family, it’s not for your friends. I think most of my long-term friends don’t follow me. I’m not putting it out there for anybody else but the people who find value in it. And when you can wrap that around your brain it’ll change your freaking life.”

She’s right. So here I go. If you’re curious, check me out on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok—and don’t judge. Or do. This is for me and for those who are looking for what I’m putting out there. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s not.

As always, thank you for reading, Lovelies