What Makes You Facinating?

Me? I don’t fucking know. That’s not a great answer, is it? Yeah. I know. It’s not.

My writing partner and I were at a Holiday Craft Market recently. It’s a day of fun, talking to new readers, pitching our stories, and selling our books. It’s always a good day and David and I go into it with a positive attitude however we’re still pretty tired by the end. Hats off to all sellers of the world!

How it goes…

As people stroll by looking at our wares one of us always asks Do you like murder mysteries? As a person who does not read murder mysteries (I only write them) I am shocked and grateful for how many people do enjoy this genre. If, however, they reply with a no we shift to How about a funny memoir? and I take over from there. And enter stage right My List, My Rules.

The customer

This exact scenario played out at the end of our market day. A man walked by and Dave said hello and then asked him if he was interested in murder mysteries. He said he wasn’t. Then Dave asked if he’d like a funny memoir. “Yes. That’s more my thing.” He picked up My List, My Rules. “Did you write this? This is about you?” I was still sitting—you know—tired after a long day. “Yes. It’s about me.” I stayed sitting. He leaned in and asked, “What makes you fascinating?” What the fuck? That’s a question no one has ever asked—not even on one single date back in the days of dating. And this is the point in my post where I pause and say a quick prayer that those times are behind me—annnnnnd—Amen! Back to being fascinating—or not.

“Sorry, what?”

“What makes you fascinating?” He repeated himself even though I heard him the first time.

“Hm.” My hm was more of a punch of air than a thoughtful consideration. I had to think on my feet, and be quick with my answer because why else would I write a book about myself? I also wanted this guy to purchase a copy.

And then with each reply to answer his question, I held up a finger. “One, I never give up. Two, I did 101 things in a year. That’s a thing every three days! Three, I really enjoy the word fuck.” This is true, however, I don’t know if that last one makes me fascinating or just authentically me or just super crass. But I’m not obtuse. I know when I should and shouldn’t cuss and school is a “shouldn’t” at least not out loud. Why?

1. I will lose credibility with the kids.

2. I don’t want any angry parents calling me.

3. If fuck is the boundary between teacher and teen and it’s down, what’s next?

What’s next…(I smirk at my magical segue)

This fella jumped right to my last point and said he had opinions on the word fuck. He said it has lost its punch and it’s basically meaningless. And then he carried on like he was defending his thesis for a master’s degree to a faculty of fuckers. He told me his favorite word which started with the letter ‘c’. You can guess—or not. Our conversation may have embarrassed the nice elderly lady beside us at her booth. She engaged and said she swears but never the C-word. The whole time I was thinking how did we get here. But, here we were.

The sale

Once satisfied with his reasons (and perhaps the amount he said the c-word) he opened My List, My Rules, and read aloud. This also never happens.

He began “Did he somehow know I had just showed my boobies to two female guards for nothing?” He slammed the book shut! “Sold!” Brah…it’s not that kind of book! He definitely thinks he’s getting a different kind of book. Of all the pages he could have turned to. Gah! Regardless, I made a sale and hopefully, he’s enjoying all the parts of the book, not just that bit.

Back to being fascinating

This isn’t a conclusion of any sort but more of a contemplation. I’m not sure if I’m fascinating. I think I’m tenacious. I have grit. I keep going. I don’t quit. But I’m also a very ordinary person like all the people around me. And, I’m not the only person on the planet who likes getting shit done. That could also make me fascinating, or maybe relatable. An ordinary person doing things—some tasks that are quite ordinary and some challenging, serious, emotional. Maybe, that’s it…the ordinary piece—that we can all take a pen and paper and make a list of things we would like to do and charge forward in this one adventurous sweet life.

As always, thank you for reading Lovelies