What’s On Your List

I was invited to a women-only event as a vendor/woman-owned business. There were ten vendors there. I was the only author. On the table, I had my most recent book, My List, My Rules, and the award-winning young adult Shepherd and Wolfe Mystery series written by my writing partner David Gane and me.

The goals board

Since my book is about completing 101 things in a year and the challenging, hilarious, and fun lessons I learned, I thought putting up a board for the women attending to share their goals and bucket list items would be fun. I found a pretty easel and an array of cheerfully bright Post-it notes and Sharpies. I wrote “What’s on your list” in big bold letters on a larger paper in the middle. To encourage people to participate I added some things that I’d like to accomplish such as: Learning the words to Sara Perche Ti Amo; Hiking the Valley of 1000 Devils in Saskatchewan; Starting painting again; Watching the Harry Potter movies; Making a perfect souffle; Spend a day at Sainte Anne’s Spa. I felt my list was diverse and fun—the things on it attainable. Hopefully, this would encourage those walking by to participate.

The attendees arrived

I encouraged the women who walked by to add something to the board. I engaged in conversations hoping our chat would spur ideas. Women walked by reading the sticky notes. When I’d ask “What’s on your list?” They would reply with “I’ll have to think about it” or “I’m not sure” or “I’ve never really thought about it.” The ultimate shocker for me was when I asked someone what was on their list and their reply was “Nothing’s on my list.”

As if!

“Nothing?—at all?” I smiled encouragingly. I couldn’t believe it. They affirmed. “No. Nothing.” And they kept walking.

Shocks and lessons

I’d like to say that sharing was anonymous. No one would know who wrote what. I thought that there was safety in anonymity. Seven people participated. Seven out of fifty attendees. At the end of the night, I read the additional notes. I was left with a few thoughts.

People might not know how to dream. Isn’t that sad? When asked about a goal they might have the answers were, well, non-existent for the most part. What happened? Where did their hopes and dreams go?

They may not know how to actually make goals that are check-list-able. Some very vague ideas that were written down didn’t lend themselves to completion.

I feel like the general public is not excitable—or maybe they are not excitable about participating? When allowed to make a wish (because sometimes that’s all a goal is–a wish with a plan) they don’t know what to write.

Future dreams are not for everyone. Maybe life is too daunting for some. Maybe the day-to-day is enough.

I’m a bit sad for people but that’s my issue. And once again I feel pretty fabulous about my life.

My point of view

Of course, all of this is my point of view. I wrote a book about doing 101 things in a year and I got ‘er done but what came of that was this incredible zest for life. Between the have-tos I found silliness and fun and challenges. My lust for life came at least every three days. I forced myself in a year of goal setting to do a lot. And from that came balance, joy, and happiness (joy and happiness are different by the way).

I’m not here to preach to anyone but I’m curious about the distraction of people and where minds and hearts are. I’m curious about what stokes the fire in someone else’s heart.

I don’t know the answer to this for anyone but myself. Maybe this event was an anomaly. Maybe people do have experiences they’d like to have that they keep in their back pocket or close to their heart. And even though other people’s lives do not impact me at all I hope my last statement is a true one.

As always, thank you for reading lovelies.