The Star and Graduation

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

I spent the last few days of the school year packing and moving and hauling and cleaning because I am being moved to a new school. I was spent. June is typically met with exhaustion, but let’s add to that packing up a decade’s worth of teaching tools and supplies and stuffing them into boxes.

Graduation and the prom fell on this evening. When it rains it pours. I got home with the right amount of dusty-dirty you’d expect from an art studio—which compared to any other room in the school (besides the wood and mechanic shops) is a lot. I plopped into a chair and looked around. My house was clean. I was the only grimy thing in it. I can’t go to grad. I’m too tired. I want to have a bath and go to bed.

I opened my laptop and composed an email to a specific student explaining that I wouldn’t be going, feeling like my tired-boned vibes would come through in the email. I finished it off with all the best. I made my excuses (which were true). I wished her well. I offered her a reference letter. I proofread the email—it was well written—however, it didn’t convince ME.

I didn’t send the email. I deleted it. I went upstairs, showered and dressed, found some statement earrings, and put on lipstick. I was going to the prom ceremony to see the students I watched grow over these four years.

No regrets

When I arrived I was greeted by so many students. They all looked so good in their dresses and suits, almost but not quite men and women. They were friendly and happy. In my twenty-six years, I cannot recall a prom where so many kids stayed after the formal program to dance. There on the dance floor, I watched these kiddos be joyous. No phones. No attitude. No drama. Just a whole lot of wholesome fun. I couldn’t help but smile. This was my last memory of the school I was leaving. It was the flare I needed to amongst the drama this past decade. In the boogie and the jive of the dance floor, the shake shake shake shook away frustration and only left the glitter and the joy I was watching.

I found the girl

I found the student I was looking for to personally wish her good luck in her future endeavors. Along with her, I found many others to hug and congratulate. One student found me. She handed me a card without an envelope, which to be honest was very much her style. I took it and thanked her. I didn’t read it right away, but when I had a moment at my table I took it out.

The card

On the cover was a woman in a blue dress pouring water from a container, around her head a halo of five stars. At the bottom were the words The Star. It was an image from a tarot deck of The Star card. Inside the student had written:

Ms. Counios,

Thank you for helping me see that everyone is an artist. Even if I had a bad day I always felt at ease in your classroom. You have this genuineness that makes everyone (at least those I know) respect you. I absolutely loved hearing your stories and I hope that I can also have lots of amazing adventures like you! Speaking of stories, I really hope you get that big book deal!

Thank you for everything.

Kaitlyn

My heart melted

This written sentiment confirmed that we listen in tandem. The students say things and I listen. I say things and they listen. And somewhere in there, when trust is created we (each party) share something personal—a hope, a dream. And the other party listens—really listens. Those words “I really hope you get that big book deal” were magical. She was wishing with me. She was listening to the stories I was sharing but she was feeling them too. I felt tears well up there at the table. I took a deep breath and closed the card.

The star

On the back of the card is written: The Star betokens hope. This card may be read as a symbol of rebirth and a new beginning. The jars emptied into the pool by the figure of Aphrodite indicate the bath of rejuvenation and the paradisical fountain that feeds the rivers of the world.

This feels like a fitting message for me, moving on to a new school, the student, moving on to the next stage in her life, the hope I have for my career in writing, and the hope this student has for me. And, of course, the rejuvenation that comes with summer.

I’m glad I went to the prom—for this card, for this message, and for this incredibly positive closure.

As always, thank you for reading lovelies.